Fashion Myth: High Heels Are Sexy

The high heel has been considered the epitome of sexy in women’s clothing.  It has been associated with being and feeling beautiful.

What has been neglected though is the conversation of what high heels do to our bodies, why we wear them and how it actually feels to wear them.

Please watch my video, and then continue reading.

The psychology behind wearing high heels fundamentally comes from not accepting ourselves.

In the first case wearing heels to increase our height relates to a society that idealizes tall people. And if we are not tall enough we believe that wearing high heels will increase our social standing as it increases our physical standing. It stems from a belief that being shorter somehow makes us inadequate. And that is simply not true.

The second reason we wear high heels is to be sexually appealing (usually) to men. And this is related to making decisions that put our own health at risk simply for the sake of being looked at. We (might) wear the heels to get outside attention instead of honouring our body and listening to our true inner voice.  The one that tells us we are enough and the pain caused by these torture devices isn’t worth the health risk.

When we choose actions to gain the outside approval of others we are generally ignoring our true inner voice.  If you can wear high heels without pain and you truly do it for yourself, then by all means go ahead. However, realize most of us are not wearing super high heels for ourselves.  We are wearing them to gain external validation (outside attention) and approval from others.

Our legs are not for men to look at, or to make other women jealous of our figures. Our legs are for us to walk on and to carry us through our whole life.

Ruined posture, shortened calf muscles, leg, hip, and joint problems, hammer toes, bunions, corns…the list goes on.

This is not sexy. High heels are not sexy. High heels cause serious health problems. Medium to low heels are your best health choice.

And as Dr. Christian Northrup says in her book Making Life Easy,

High heels are like dessert. To be enjoyed in small doses every once in awhile.

The average life span for women is about 80. Our feet need to last us this whole time so take loving care of them.

To your stylish health,


Am I Beautiful? Owning Your Power and Beauty

The trick to owning our personal power and beauty is realizing we already have it.

Yes this is a longer video. It is worth it.  Set aside some time over your lunch break or after the kids are in bed.

Then read on after you watch!


We hustle around trying to gain the approval of others. We hustle around trying to gain achievements, paychecks, spouses, have children. We hustle around buying clothes and makeup. Then we go scowling at the clothes and makeup because they didn’t make us feel beautiful they way the advertisements promised. Or perhaps they did for awhile, until the void inside started screaming again. So we figure the bigger house will make us feel better. The bigger paycheck. The nicer dress. The new baby. The new “something outside me.” On and on the cycle goes.

All in an effort to answer the questions: Am I Beautiful? Am I Worthy?

Of course I went through all this, and still find myself stuck in these circular traps from time to time.

But as I say in the video, it takes time to change our thoughts and feelings, but it is well worth the effort.

On some level I think we know that the clothes and makeup and bigger houses will not actually make us feel better, not on the deep level that I believe we really desire, but we keep chasing these things anyway in an effort to fill the void.

The answer then is to change our focus from acquiring things to make us look or feel better to changing our thoughts and beliefs to help us look and feel better. After all it is our thoughts that create our body image.

Now of course a new dress or a new eyeshadow has wonderful effects. And if we know we look amazing in an outfit that certainly has a healing power as well. However, these still are temporary. Eventually the clothes wear out or get ripped or stained. The makeup runs out or gets discontinued. So we again are in the place of trying to find the thing outside us that makes us beautiful.

We are innately beautiful. We are innately powerful. Everyone of us. Including and especially YOU.

So we need to change our thinking.

Change “This dress makes me beautiful”

to something like

I am beautiful and this dress highlights my beauty.”

In the first example we give the dress beauty and the power. In the second, we give ourselves power and beauty.

See my other post for an example of this.

Certainly it takes time to change our beliefs and thoughts, but we all know the pit of despair where the “I hate myself and I am ugly” thoughts end.

Let’s try “I like myself, or I love myself and I am beautiful” instead.

Until next time,


Fashion Myth: The Dress Makes the Woman or the Suit Makes the Man

It’s the Festive Season! And we are in the time of family gatherings, corporate parties, charity galas and social gatherings.

And it seems the pressure is high to look your best. Dress to Impress as they say.

Watch my short video for thoughts on how to wear your holiday dress or suit with confidence!

We hear the phrase so often that it is the dress that makes the woman or the suit that makes the man that we don’t even stop to think about whether or not that is true!

And the pressure is on to look your absolute best at the party. You could have family breathing down your neck, you want to impress your boss, your spouse, your co workers, your neighbours, and so we spend so much time fretting about getting the perfect holiday dress for women or suit for men.

The Christmas Party, New Years Eve, the corporate party, the social gathering, the charity gala. So many events and so much anxiety about making the right impression.

So much time spent finding the right holiday dress (for women) or suit (for men). So much money spent believing that it is really the dress or the suit that makes us. And without that dress or suit, we are really nothing.

So very very wrong. We are all beautiful or handsome. The trick is we haven’t realized that it is our body that gives the dress or suit shape and substance. And without the body the dress or suit is just a pile of fabric.

So know you are what gives the dress or suit its power. Not the other way around. Happy Festivities to you all!