Fiona McAllister 
Arrogance can be built, but true confidence actually has to be discovered and nurtured.
Watch the video below and then continue reading.
Arrogance comes from a place of comparison or pretending, which stems from a sense of inner insecurity.
When you are in the game of constant comparison to feed your sense of self, you have to always be better than others. You have to be more stylish than them so you can feel good about yourself. So you may spend more money than you need to on expensive fashion brands to get a sense of self. But if your sense of self is from the fashion brand, it isn’t truly authentic to you is it?
The flip side of this arrogance is also taking the back road out of fashion, making yourself “better” than others by saying you are above the frivolous fashion game. You decide you are better than those who waste their time chasing fulfillment through material goods. Well, unless you plan to walk around naked, your are wearing fashion. So are you making yourself “better” than others by pretending it doesn’t matter to you to what you wear or how you look?
Another type of arrogance from pretending comes from following a sub-group to gain your sense of style. As an extreme example, there are almost cult like followings of some music genres where everyone dresses in the style of the band. This isn’t authentic either, because you are relying on the image of others to give you a sense of self. Chances are you don’t belong to a death metal fashion sub-group if you are reading this, but consider are there other ways you have opted for a sub-group for identity?
Confidence, on the other hand, comes from taking everyone else out of the picture, and doing the harder work of learning about yourself and discovering inner security.
As far as style goes, confidence is discovering what your natural colouring is, what your body shape is, what types of clothing you feel comfortable and attractive in. It comes from learning what types of clothes you need or want for your lifestyle. For example a woman who works construction will need a very different work wardrobe than a woman who works in law. But then who are you outside your work? What style feels authentic to you?
Confidence comes more naturally when you have done the harder work of learning about yourself, what looks good on you, what your preferences are. Confidence comes from inner security developed through doing the harder work.
Arrogance is built on a false sense of self, in whatever form.
Confidence is discovered from learning about and honouring yourself.
Blessings,
