There is no question that wearing spanx will suck in parts of you. But I just have to ask, at what cost?
Last summer I wore a spanx contraption like the one in the picture under one of my dresses. And no doubt it made my stomach, hips, and behind look smoother. But do you know the cost of wearing that spanx all evening? I had a stomach ache from the pressure, and I had a permanent wedgie. I looked good and felt miserable. How stupid.
So how liberated have we become? We’ve traded boned corsets for spandex ones.
How has this helped women’s fashion? I think spanx and other shapewear is just another example of the products and services in the beauty industry that are so focused on how we look, to be acceptable as women, and how these products are supposed to fix our so called “flawed selves.” That said, if you have comfortable shapewear that doesn’t hurt you and you feel good in, by all means wear it.
But if you are miserable and uncomfortable all night long, how is this serving YOU? Who wants to torture themselves for the sake of fashion? Why is it that we buy into the societal garbage that beauty is pain? How can we possibly feel beautiful when everything or anything hurts?
You don’t see men walking around complaining that their suits looks too “whatever”. In fact no one much cares. The man buys a suit that fits him and wears it and that is the end of it. If the man is short and stalky, or tall and thin, people observe that fact and move on. Usually without much judgment. Even if the man has a gut that overhangs his pants, his worth and character aren’t judged by this gut. Well sadly, that’s not entirely true. But overall men experience far less judgement of their worth based on their appearance than women.
Style Mindfulness:
But as women and men alike, we judge and belittle other women constantly with judgmental stories. We see an overweight woman and might think, “Look at how she’s let herself go after having kids,” or when we ourselves put on more weight than we’d like, we might think “Ugh, I used to be so thin and pretty. If only I could weigh what I used to again.” Women are constantly judged by the state of their bodies. It’s no wonder we spend so much time thinking, worrying, or even obsessing about how we look when this is the environment we live in.
Now I’m not saying that you shouldn’t care about looking good. Because that is precisely one way I help my clients. But looking good at the expense of your comfort and health is certainly not useful. But being mindful of our thoughts and how we judge ourselves or others who don’t fit the rigid societal beauty ideals is important for empowering ourselves and our fellow women. So give yourself or others a compassion story. When the judgmental thoughts run through your mind, you might simply think, “God bless you” to the other woman, or to yourself,
“My personal worth is not in the scale, it is in who I am as a person.”
I want to suggest we can look AND feel beautiful in harmony with our bodies by choosing flattering, beautiful, and comfortable options.
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Blessings,